Addictions

Emotional pain comes from thought patterns instilled in us by our experiences, usually as children. Examples are situations that convinced us that we were not wanted, were not good enough, were in some way defective, or ‘not perfect’, felt rejected or abandoned by mom or dad, or were violated by trusted people, not in control of what happened to us, ‘less than’ our siblings, the cause of our parent’s divorce, or their drinking, or their suicide, or their financial problems, or the cause of an accident or someone’s death, just to name a few.  These haunting convictions are like seeds that grow as we do, and loom larger than our ability to stuff them into forgetfulness.  Living with the pain from the thought patterns that these induced on our psyche on a daily basis causes most sane people to find something to numb or mask it.  Once a remedy is found to be effective, it becomes relied upon and ta dah, an addiction is born. The addiction exchanges or replaces a bad emotional feeling with a good one. So now the person is better able to cope with the rest of life knowing that when things get ‘bad’, I know what to do to calm myself, feel better or numb out.

Further evidence that these addictions are pain-masking behaviors is the common pattern of substituting one ‘addiction’ for another.  After struggling to loose oneself from alcohol, one finds himself addicted to sugar. When tobacco is stopped, one looks for remedies in the kitchen. Or maybe this illegal drug for a legal, controlled drug.  So once the remedy is taken away and the emotional pain emerges we look for something else to ‘remedy’ that pain. Basically we swap out remedies without addressing the cause of the problem.

So we can understand why convincing folks to give up their remedy has such a low success rate and why some people will not even seek help – because “they want me to give up my ‘remedy’ but then I’ll feel bad all day without relief again. No thanks.”  The convictions above frame a painful reality which needs intervention on a level above the physical.  The Address the Stress page gives several insights on the kinds of remedies available.  In the meantime electro-medicine offers good relief.  The most lasting or permanent remedies come from the spiritual level.  That is why I wrote Spiritual Disciplines for Physical and Emotional Healing: A Self-Help Guide. I believe that is the place to begin. Basically we need to face the painful reality that we accepted, and get God’s perspective from Him directly.  His Truth redefines our reality. Then we see our lives from a different perspective. As layer after layer of stinkin’ thinkin’ is addressed, the emotional pain subsides, we walk in greater peace and the need for the pain masking behavior is obviated.